人間の孤独 -心臓病による激痛で苦しむホワイトヘッド夫人を救えない自分

evelyn2 ホワイトヘッド夫人Evelyn Whitehead)は,当時しだいに病弱になりつつあり,心臓病のために常にはげしい痛みを感じていた。ホワイトヘッドとアリス(ラッセルの妻)と私は,3人とも,彼女のことが心配でならなかった。ホワイトヘッドは妻を深く熱愛していただけでなく非常に彼女を頼りとしていた。それゆえ,もし彼女が死ぬようなことがあれば,彼が今後も良い仕事をすることができるかどうか疑わしく思われた。

ある日,ギルバート・マーレイ(Gilbert Murray, 1866-1957)が,当時まだ出版されていなかった(エウリビデス作の)「ヒッポリュトス(Hippolytus)」(注:Euripides, B.C. 485?-406? 古代ギリシアの三大悲劇詩人のひとり)の(マーレイによる)翻訳の一部を(講義で)講読するために,(ケンブリッジの)ニューナム・コレッジヘ(Newnham)やって来た。アリスと私は,彼の講義を聴講にいった。そうして私は,その詩の美しさに深く感動した。




evelynMrs. Whitehead was at this time becoming more and more of an invalid, and used to have intense pain owing to heart trouble. Whitehead and Alys and I were all filled with anxiety about her. He was not only deeply devoted to her but also very dependent upon her, and it seemed doubtful whether he would ever achieve any more good work if she were to die. One day, Gilbert Murray came to Newnham to read part of his translation of The Hippolytus, then unpublished. Alys and I went to hear him, and I was profoundly stirred by the beauty of the poetry. (See letter to Gilbert Murray and his reply, p.159. Also the subsequent letters relating to the Bacchae) When we came home, we found Mrs. Whitehead undergoing an unusually severe bout of pain.
She seemed cut off from everyone and everything by walls of agony,
and the sense of the solitude of each human soul suddenly  overwhelmed me. Ever since my marriage, my emotional life had been calm and superficial. I had forgotten all the deeper issues, and had been content with flippant cleverness. Suddenly the ground seemed to give way beneath me, and I found myself in quite another region. Within five minutes I went through some such reflections as the following: the loneliness of the human soul is unendurable; nothing can penetrate it except the highest intensity of the sort of love that religious teachers have preached; whatever does not spring from this motive is harmful, or at best useless; it follows that war is wrong, that a public school education is abominable, that the use of force is to  be deprecated, and that in human relations one should penetrate to the core of loneliness in each person and speak to that.
出典: The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell, v.1, chap. 6,
Principia Mathematica, 1967]