夫婦協力による子育て
家庭に父親の居場所をなくすこと(注:現代的な意味で「多忙な父親」は家に居場所がないといった意味ではなく,「父親を不要とすること」)によって女性がこうむる主な被害は,もしかすると(perhaps),男性との親密かつ真剣なつきあいが減ることかも知れない,と考える。人間は,両性が互いに相手から多くのものを学ぶように作られているが,単なる性関係は,たとえそれが情熱的なものであっても,それらを学ぶためには不十分なものである。子供を養育するという重大な仕事で協力し,それに伴い長年に渡って親密につきあうことは,男性が自分の子供に対してまったく責任を持たない場合に存在するいかなる関係よりも,いっそう重要かつ豊かな関係をもたらす。また,純粋に(もっぱら)女性的な雰囲気の中で暮らしているか,または,男性との接触が瑣末なものでしかない母親は,わずかな例外を除いて,情操教育の観点から見て,幸福な結婚をし,それぞれの段階で夫と協力している母親ほど子供のためになっていない,と私は考える。 けれども,これに対しては,非常に多くの場合(ケース)において,別の考慮を持ち出さなければならない。女性が結婚生活においてかなり不幸な状態にあれば -そして,それは,結局,決して珍しいことではない- 彼女は子供を扱う際に,自分の不幸のために,正しい情緒的な安定(emotional poise)を保つことは非常にむずかしくなる。そのような場合は,彼女は疑いもなく,子供の父親と別れたほうが,よい母親になることができる。こうして,我々は,幸福な結婚はよいが不幸な結婚は悪いというつまらない結論に達するのである。 |
Chapter XIV: The Family in Individual Psychology, n.8The importance of the family, as it exists at present, in the psychology of mothers is very difficult to estimate. I think that during pregnancy and lactation a woman has, as a rule, a certain instinctive tendency to desire a man's protection - a feeling, no doubt, inherited from the anthropoid apes. Probably a woman who, in our present rather harsh world, has to dispense with this protection tends to become somewhat unduly combative and self-assertive. These feelings, however, are only in part instinctive. They would be greatly weakened, and in some cases wholly abolished, if the State gave adequate care to expectant and nursing mothers and to young children. I think perhaps the chief harm that would be done to women by abolition of the father's place in the home would be the diminution in the intimacy and seriousness of their relations with the male sex. Human beings are so constructed that each sex has much to learn from the other, but mere sex relations, even when they are passionate, do not suffice for these lessons. Co-operation in the serious business of rearing children, and companionship through the long years involved, bring about a relation more important and more enriching to both parties than any that would exist if men had no responsibility for their children. And I do not think that mothers who live in a purely feminine atmosphere, or whose contacts with men are trivial, will, except in a minority of cases, be quite so good for their children from the point of view of emotional education as those who are happily married and co-operating at each stage with their husbands. One must, however, in a great many cases set other considerations over against these. If a woman is actively unhappy in her marriage - and this, after all, is by no means an uncommon occurrence - her unhappiness makes it very difficult for her to have the right kind of emotional poise in dealing with her children. In such cases she could undoubtedly be a better mother if she were quit of the father. We are thus led to the entirely trivial conclusion that happy marriages are good, while unhappy ones are bad. |