恋愛と結婚の関係
結婚が実り多きものであり,両当事者(夫婦)ともに結婚生活に対し,分別があり,上品である場合は,結婚生活は,生涯続くべきだと考えるべきであるが,そのことは,夫婦以外の性関係を除外するものではない,と私は考える。情熱的な恋愛で始まり,欲しがっていた,愛する子供の誕生に導く結婚(生活)は,夫婦の間に非常に強いきずなを(当然)もたらすはずであり,(それゆえに)性的な情熱が衰えた後でも,また,(夫婦の)一方または両方が,誰か他の人に性的な情熱を感じることがあったとしても,彼ら(夫婦)は,二人のつきあい(交友)に無限に貴重なものを感じるにちがいない。結婚生活がこのように円熟すること(mellowing)は,嫉妬心によって妨げられてきた(妨げられてきている)。 しかし,嫉妬心は,本能的な情念ではあるけれども,悪いものであると気づけば、また、正当な道徳的な怒りの表現であるとみなされなければ,(自分で)コントロールできるものである。長年に渡って続き,また,深い感情を抱いた多くの(懐かしい)多くの出来事を経てきた夫婦の交友(つきあい)には,--恋愛の初期がどんなに楽しい日々であったとしても--,(恋愛初期には)絶対にありえない豊かな内容がある(のである)。時間というものが(いろいろな)価値を高めるのにどれほど役に立っているかをよく理解している者なら誰でも,このような夫婦の交友(つきあい)を,新しい恋のために簡単に捨て去るようなことはしないであろう。 |
Chapter X: Marriage, n.11For all these reasons, many of which are bound up with things undoubtedly good, marriage has become difficult, and if it is not to be a barrier to happiness it must be conceived in a somewhat new way. One solution often suggested, and actually tried on a large scale in America, is easy divorce. I hold, of course, as every humane person must, that divorce should be granted on more grounds than are admitted in the English law, but I do not recognize in easy divorce a solution of the troubles of marriage. Where a marriage is childless, divorce may be often the right solution, even when both parties are doing their best to behave decently; but where there are children the stability of marriage is to my mind a matter of considerable importance. (This is a subject to which I shall return in connection with the family.) I think that, where a marriage is fruitful and both parties to it are reasonable and decent, the expectation ought to be that it will be lifelong, but not that it will exclude other sex relations. A marriage which begins with passionate love and leads to children who are desired and loved ought to produce so deep a tie between a man and woman that they will feel something infinitely precious in their companionship, even after sexual passion has decayed, and even if either or both feels sexual passion for someone else. This mellowing of marriage has been prevented by jealousy, but jealousy, though it is an instinctive emotion, is one which can be controlled if it is recognized as bad, and not supposed to be the expression of a just moral indignation. A companionship which has lasted for many years and through many deeply felt events has a richness of content which cannot belong to the first days of love, however delightful these may be. And any person who appreciates what time can do to enhance values will not lightly throw away such companionship for the sake of new love. |