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The most unhappy moments of my life were spent at Grantchester.... I lay awake through long nights, ... I suffered in a very intense form the loneliness ... I read religious books such, as Taylor's Holy Dying, in the hope that there might be something independent of dogma in the comfort which their authors derived from their beliefs. I tried to take refuge in pure contemplation; I began to write The Free Man's Worship. The construction of prose rhythms was the only thing in which I found any real consolation.
Source: The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell, v.1 chap. 1
More info.: https://russell-j.com/beginner/AB16-090.HTM